Sinning: Easier than grieving?

I've been thinking a lot lately about what we, as Christians, are to do with sadness, disappointment and plain ol' mistreatment by others. I'm sure we could all come up with a few textbook answers, but when it really happens and hurts you on a deep level...how do you work from the pain of someone hurting you to a place of peace, acceptance and trust in God's plan?

A recent blog post by a dear friend caught my eye. He talked of the Israelites grumbling in the desert. Upon ending the post, he says:

"God is good. God is wise. God is sovereign. What God has provided is better than anything we could even imagine. Let's be satisfied with what God gives and stop grumbling about what we imagine God has withheld."

Let me tell you, I'm upset about "what I imagine God has withheld". Mr Incredible and I sacrificed lots of emotion and time into his old company to build it to where it now- And we invested quite a bit of money last year in hiring new guys for our territory. We're in a different state because of his job, we gave up vacation, family time, etc to finally grow it to where it would produce well for us...and we were cut off with no say and a closed ear to reconciliation. No heads up, no performance review, no nothing that would have told Mr Incredible he was doing something wrong that put his job at risk. On the contrary, we just stood weeks before, being congratulated for his area having the second highest profitability in the company. The last six months things had gone soooo well-I finally had more family time with Mr Incredible and we were relaxing just a little financially. I almost *gasp* purchased my first pair of non-thrift store, but rather consignment, brand name jeans. Frugal Megan was loosening up! So when I look at the future I thought we had earned (uh oh! Entitled much?) and saw it suddenly gone with a proverbial desert in it's place....well let's just say I had some emotions to deal with.

Thus so far, I have not felt angry with God, just the earthly man who missed my husband's character and left our lives confused and deflated. But all along I've acknowledged that my grumbling against him is indeed grumbling against God, and have battled with it. It helps me not be angry when I remember that from the very moment my husband uttered the words "[My boss] is asking me to resign" I felt like his old boss was like Pharaoh; a man of God's choosing, with a hardened heart against us. This was somehow God's plan for us, even if it was shocking, confusing and seemingly undeserved. Um...and extremely disappointing. Disappointing because we threw ourselves into this company for 6 years and we were only just beginning to enjoy the fruits of our labor- now someone else gets to reap from our hard work. Our hopes were not to get rich, but instead to take advantage of an opportunity to richly bless others. Sure, we had high hopes of doing some home improvements, but mostly of paying off this house and giving our money away. I think of an example I heard from Dave Ramsey of a couple giving an adopting family $10K to fund their adoption. That type of giving is what my heart was set on...that is what my heart was hoping for. That is what makes me choose, everyday, to live simply. As my cousin reminded me recently -

 "The Challenge: Live simply, so others can simply live."

My anger comes from losing what we had worked for. From the years I spent encouraging Mr Incredible to work extra hours, take long trips, and doing things outside of his job description to bless the company, and it all seems to have meant nothing. And now here we are in the desert....with a promise land of milk and honey in heaven, of course, but not necessarily on this earth.

And so I've grumbled. And as we can see spelled out in the bible, to grumble against God is to sin against Him. Why do we grumble & sin, my friend asks? Well I can share my answer: I grumble because it is easier to sin than it is to grieve. It's easier for me to be mad at someone else, my husband's old boss, my husband, or God himself- Than it is for me to let myself feel sad, disappointed and let down. To just cry and ask God to comfort me. To sit there in my mess of disappointment and be broken. Broken hearted Megan. I've come to know her quite well and wasn't ready to see her again. But God deeply loves broken hearted Megan. Jesus says she's blessed!

Matthew 5:2-6: "And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied."

AAAAnd  then there's trusting God for the future. I need to rest in the fact that if we're supposed to be able to financially help missionaries, adopting families and the like, God will provide. What do I need to worry about? Nothing, save whether or not I'm loving and trusting Him.

So this is where I am today. May God continue to help me trust in His Good & Ultimate Plan- Even when it doesn't feel good for me.

~FrugalMegan

Feed a (gluten free) crowd for under $10!

Last week we had our church "Life Group" over to our home. I LOVE having people over, but when the topic of "what food will there be?" came up, I admittedly got a little squirmy. Mr Incredible recently lost his job, and we eat gluten free- So my insecurities came to surface. Do we have the food to spare? Will the low cost food I was planning for dinner be adequate for guests? Will they even like it? I wear my emotions on my sleeve, so I felt bad that our guests ended up deciding to eat dinner before they came.

I was immediately reminded that God is the One who blesses, and that He provides the food for us and our friends everyday. He could certainly do that through me if I would let Him. So I went back and explained I would love to bless others at our home tonight- I would make dinner, and they could bring a little extra something if they wanted. I felt much better :D

With what we had on hand, I came up with a beans/rice/tortilla meal that would rock your socks off and fill up your belly!

Beans:
2lbs Black Beans (homegrown for us, but $2 at Harris Teeter) soaked overnight
1 tbsp oil ($.09)
large handfull of chopped chives or onion grass (free from the garden or yard, as long as you don't treat it with chemicals)
water
3 cloves garlic (~.15)
2 tsp cumin
1 chopped jalapeno (homegrown for us, but otherwise~$.30)
2 tsp salt
1/2 bunch chopped cilantro ($.75)
squeeze of lime (~.30)

Sautee onion grass in oil on medium heat until they turn dark green (or onion turns translucent). Add beans, and cover with water. Add garlic, cumin and jalapeno and bring to a boil. Simmer for 1 hour, or until beans are soft. Add salt, chopped cilantro and lime before serving.


Homemade Tortillas:
2 cups instant corn masa (~$.30)
1/2 tsp salt (free- purchased on sale with coupon)
1 1/4 cup water (plus more if too dry)
sunflower oil (for frying only) ($.30)

Blend on high for 2 minutes and roll dough into balls. Set aside and busy yourself with another task while they absorb all the liquid and become a bit drier. Preheat large iron skillet on medium heat with a TBSP sunflower oil. Roll out tortillas between two sheets of well greased parchment paper. Should be 1/8- to 1/4 thickness. Carefully peel tortilla off of the parchment (can be tricky! Likes to fall apart!) and into the pan. I hold it upside down over the pan and slowly peel it off on to my palm and tricky-fast slide into pan.


I also served with:
Guacamole (free after coupon at Harris Teeter)
 6 cups prepared, gluten free rice (2 cups dry, $1.70)
 Corn salsa (1 jar Newman's Own medium salsa [$1 after coupon] and a cup of corn [$.50])
 Lettuce ($.67).

It was a 'build your own' style meal.

Grand total: $8.06. Plus let's say $1 to cover the spices and extras I may have missed. How about that?? $9 to feed a crowd! And it kept going and going, just like loaves and fishes.

~FrugalMegan

A Valentines Day Save

A few weeks ago it struck me that Valentines Day was coming. Usually Mitch and I don't do much for holidays, in our typical frugal mentality, but with kids it's nice to do some kind of craft and make a special treat. But I had a problem- My husband suddenly doesn't have a job. Which means I don't have money to spend. What to do? So I took inventory.

-Cheap craft idea using toilet paper rolls on my pinterest? Check.
-Cookie mix that was discovered to be slightly stale before Christmas that I can't take back to the store now- check. It's not expired, not by a long shot, so I felt like it would be OK to make do with.
- Free redbox code? Check!
-Stashed away Valentines Day Card I bought at a garage sale years ago? Check.

I invited a friend and her daughters over for the craft- Here is the link: http://www.thethriftress.com/2011/01/valentines-day-wreath-tutorial.html

We had a great time with the kids! They helped cut the toilet paper rolls and form hearts. Then my friend and I hot glue gunned them together. Later my son helped me spray paint them red, and we used a little glitter glue to outline just one of  the hearts. Turned out very cute, in my opinion. We had everything on hand but the $4 spray paint!

Yesterday I decided to brave the gluten free shortbread cookie mix. Gluten free foods can be FINICKY, which is frustrating. They are typically made with high quality grains that are processed from the complete grain, so they can go bad a little more quickly than a white flour. If one of the 4 flours used goes a little stale, it affects the whole mix. But only a little- It IS just one of 4 flours in the mix. My husband (Mr Incredible) couldn't even tell there was anything off, so I felt confident it would be fine. My son and I had a great time rolling out the dough and cutting out the hearts. He helped me make special train Valentine cookies for himself, his friend who came to visit yesterday, and Mr Incredible. The train he made for himself was shunting- pushing the caboose. Very important Mommy! Don't forget that mine is shunting! We used cinnamon sugar rolled onto the top of the dough to help with the flavor. We made icing from coconut milk solids left over in the fridge, about a cup of organic powdered sugar and a little extra finely ground sugar. A special treat, and they turned out wonderfully. Praise God, I was worried!

Take home point of our day? God cares for his children. Life may not be perfect right now, but He can make perfect from the imperfect. He can even take my stale outlook on life and give it new, cinnamon-sugary life. Come Lord Jesus Come.

Now I'm off to ready clothes for consignment and try to sell this Mamaroo swing we have. I am woman, hear me roar! I need to share a post about how I'm dealing with my husband's job loss. There is a lot to do around here! And hopefully a Valentine's Day Latte will be coming my way soon...(Update: there wasn't. BUT we got a free redbox movie! Yay! Roll with the punches...)

~FrugalMegan
Hmmm maybe I should call myself elasta-girl....I make money stretch? LOL. Is THAT a stretch? :D

Every Day

Every day, I wake up hating myself.

Every Day.

Most of you wouldn't categorize me as a negative person, I suspect. But what I've allowed to follow me around, what I've allowed to speak to my soul every day is very different, I find, than what I would have wanted. Here is a picture of my thought life:

The baby crying draws me out of bed at 830am. That's too late. Dang it Megan. So much you could have done by now.
10am comes along and I've gotten myself dressed, the baby dressed, my son has done his morning chores, I've gathered the laundry and decluttered, possibly vacuumed, the upstairs- So now, finally- I allow myself to meander downstairs to eat breakfast. It's cold steel cut oatmeal my husband made at 7am. I've already nursed the baby twice. If you'd get things done faster, Megan, you could have eaten by now.
I busy myself with cleaning dishes of the morning, making preparations for lunch and dinner, and tidying here and there. I take note of the wooden boards sitting lonely in the closet and chastise myself for not having gotten those black and white prints made when I meant to- Before the job loss.
I see the clothing bins in the baby's room (my peaceful room, now cluttered) and demand of myself that I go through those clothes tonight, to wash and ready them for consignment. I agonize over whether now is the right time to consign the brand name clothes to a store, or whether I should wait until after the seasonal consignment sales are over. I can never make a solid decision. Ugh, how does one know? I should know. I should know. I should ask. I don't want to ask...I'll look like I care too much. I do care too much. It's just money, right? Ugh. But if I need that money in 6 months and I don't have it, I'll think back to this and kick myself hard. Seems extreme, but my husband can acknowledge it's truth.
After lunch the kids take their nap and I decide to make dinner early, to be sure I don't burn it, haven't forgotten an ingredient, and can be sure it will be ready in time. Typing that now I see...I don't trust myself. But my track record gives me good reason.
I think about reading. My mind wanders to the bins in the sleeping baby's room. Why didn't I bring those down when I was thinking about them? I should at least put the clean laundry away before I read. Then I'd better clean the bathroom. Goodness, how did I let those blinds get so dusty? I'd better do that too. Maybe I'll reward myself when I get those things done.
The baby wakes up. I should have read my book. I should have worked faster. If I had woken up earlier...

And so my day goes. So thick, so full of "Why didn't I?s", "I should haves", "Next time I'd betters" and "What the heck is wrong with mes". I have drive. I have lists. I have meal plans and laundry schedules and google calendar dates.

I have no joy. And, I notice...my kids haven't much either.

 I took that picture last week. I walked into the living room and saw such lovely sun and white lines- Lines of the plantation blinds, the computer armoire, the drying rack- In beautiful contrast to the bold colors of the diapers. Beauty. Lines. Simplicity. I took a picture, I took note. In the words of Ann Voskamp (One Thousand Gifts), I "nailed it down". I put a paper weight on it. I noticed.

Joy. Joy in the little things. Thanksgiving to God for the simple, the ordinary, the stumbled-upon of life. Diapers drying and lines of light brought me such joy. And it seemed so dang....silly. Immature. Another word from Ann Voskamp: Amateur.

But maybe it isn't. Maybe being able to find joy in the little things, all the little things we experience and take for granted each day, isn't amateur at all. Maybe easy for a child, but so hard for us, the mothers, the wifes, the housekeepers; the busy. Maybe...it's exactly the type of maturity I need. Maybe if I take time to notice the little joyful things, I'll see the gifts God gives me all morning, noon and night long.

Perhaps my persistent thoughts of self hatred could be replaced with thoughts of God, His gifts, thankfulness and even, perhaps even...joy.

Maybe.



If you'd like to join me on my journey of thanksgiving and finding joy, read "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. I'm a skeptic turned ...joyful :). So I'm taking the dare to record 1000 good gifts God gives. From light shining in the window to huge life change. I'm sure there will be more posts on this topic in the future!

I'm back...I hope

Hello friends! Well for a while there the blog has just been sitting here in cyber space...taunting me. "Come play with me!" it cried. And I kept answering "I'm already doing too much! I can't find the time!"

Then I took a facebook sabbatical. And suddenly, I have plenty of time :D

Today's post is just a little post to get me back on here. Nothing amazing. Except that she IS amazing

Meet Langley-Bear. She was born 6/15/12 and is now 7mo old. Oh what a sweet blessing she is!

See you soon! I hope :D

~Frugalmegan~

Edible landscaping: The first year

Hey friends! Welcome back :) Here are a bunch of photos from our first year of transforming our yard into an edible landscape. I don't have any before pictures, but just imagine lots of grass!

Herb Container Garden: Chive, lavender,rosemary, golden oregano, peppermint, Greek oregano and dill. We especially appreciate the rosemary and peppermint- They keep the mosquitoes away if we rub the leaves on our arms and legs.

 Veggie Container Garden: Plantains (for green smoothies), tomato, hot pepper, eggplant, mint, tarragon & red basil. All but the basil were started from seed. I bought the basil at the farmers market

 Phase I of our deck corner garden- The big item is rhubarb, and I have seeds popping up of Zinnias (to attract beneficial insects), fenugreek (for tea), cosmos and columbine to attract butterflies, & sesame (for the seeds). Mostly I'm just trying to get the beds ready for next year, and filling them with on hand seeds ;)

 Main Veggie Garden: Front to back- mesclun lettuce mix, casper pumpkins, beets, cucumber, zucchini, broccoli, bell peppers and many many varieties of heirloom tomatoes. Everything started by seed. There are also carrots, celery, chamomile, black beans, swiss chard, spinach, cabbage,  and red potato plants (started from basic red potatoes), but there is almost no way you can see those in this pic!  

 Another view, from above the retaining wall:

 3 of our 7 fruit trees, left to right: Belle of Georgia semi-dwarf peach, Elberta semi-dwarf peach and a Golden Sweet semi-dwarf Apricot. There are actually peaches on the peach trees! 

 A baby beet :)

 One of our heirloom "Lynwood" tomatoes. Just waiting for blossoms!

 Another view of the main garden- Mesclun mix upfront, tomatoes in the back

 Right side of the main garden: Beets in front, eggplant behind, some marigolds to keep certain pests away, and tomatoes

 A peach! 

 Front walkway: Strawberries, kale, romaine, swiss chard, edible flowers. Man, I need a better picture of  this. 

Blueberries. Man. I need to learn how to use my camera! :/

CR's garden- sugar snap pea Pea Teepees and sunflowers. Every morning we harvest just enough for us to share :) Soon they will be pulled out and green beans will go in! 

 Deck Trellis, left to right: Black tomatoes and Green grape tomatoes (can't see them), pie pumpkins, spaghetti squash, a lone zucchini plant (I lost it's label and just threw it in when I planted), cannonball water melon, black zucchini and Caroline Raspberries. We harvested our first one the other day! It was DELICIOUS. 

 A baby spaghetti squash! I can't wait! 

 Zucchini

 A beet, ready for the juicer tomorrow

 Me, in my sweet new  (on clearance!) shades. Had to throw that in- It's important to protect your eyes in this bright southern sun ;)

 A sugar snap pea

 Sweet potatoes- Now hows this for an experiment. Started from Trader Joe's organic sweet potatoes, and plopped in our front raised flower bed. I'm pretty sure there is nothing but fill dirt in there, plus the compost I added. We'll see! I really am just hoping the pretty chartreuse leaves cascade down the front of the box.

 Romaine in the front walk. You can see the kale behind it

 Snapdragons- Edible flowers! 

 A view from the front porch. I figured I'd leave you with a nice relaxing pic of where we spend our afternoons after working in the garden :). Ahhhhh. Iced tea anyone?

How is your  garden going? We don't have much produce yet, but I know some of you southerners got started earlier than I did!

Megan

Total Money Makeover Winners

Hi there! CR and I have been staring at the fish a lot this morning....Mostly that means potty training :)

Aren't they cool? They are African Cichlids. Very feisty and colorful! 

Today is Monday, so that means it's time to plan out the rest of my week. I'm sitting a lot today, since I just had surgery last week on my varicose veins. We'll see how much cooking and cleaning I really get done :). Luckily, we found a sushi place not too far away that has a gluten free menu- YAY! Anywho, I'm flipping through these really cool books, like Raw Energy, Ani Phyo's Food Kitchen and the Idiot's Guide to Eating Raw in order to get some inspiration for this weeks meals. I sense some yummy shakes and energy balls coming up! 

Monday also means it's time to announce our winners for the Dave Ramsey "The Total Money Makeover" giveaway. Well you know what....I'm going to make this totally unsuspenseful. Perhaps even unfun to some ;). 

You ALL win! Sarah, Veganish Mom, Lynn, April and Jenn- Email me your mailing addresses at frugalmegan@gmail.com and I'll send them out as soon as I can get to the post office :). And PS....don't ever expect me to have enough of anything to giveaway to all my entrants! I just happen to have a few of these lying around :)

Congrats ladies! 

Megan